Quick post before I go to bed, since tomorrow's going to be a busy day! Just a week or so to go before the holidays come to an end, and here I am already feeling the holiday blues. Fixing my timetable just the way I like it is becoming a chore, although it is one of the most exciting things to start off a new school year. Despite everything else, it feels good to be back home and I feel more at peace with myself than I was three months ago. I think a part of me is just terrified that everything will go back to how it was before. One thing's for sure, I'm going to miss my family and friends a lot. Negative thoughts aside though, I baked butter cookies today. Finally, after two weeks of chasing after my mom to get the recipe from her friend. The dough was soft so I was afraid that they would turn out flat, but they turned out alright.
The cutest, little squirrel knocked on my window pane two days ago and left me with a nut, and today I saw it outside my window again and just managed to get a shot of it.
“Because you’re hoping you’re wrong. And every time he does something that tells you he’s no good, you ignore it. And every time he comes through and suprises you, he wins you over, and you lose that argument with yourself, that he’s not for you.“
“I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible. And how it can actually ache in places you didn’t know you had inside you. And it doesn’t matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends… you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. And how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were that happy. And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he’ll see the light and show up at your door. And after all that, however long all that may be, you’ll go somewhere new. And you’ll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again. And little pieces of your soul will finally come back. And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted, that will eventually begin to fade.”
Highlights of the trip: Visiting warm and friendly relatives /street food / precious little shops/ wandering around small streets/ visiting the museum of contemporary art on a rainy day/ taipei 101 / night markets/ bubble tea/ mini donuts/ agnes b cafe/ eslite bookstore
Abandon will be your first beer, a squeezed lemon wedge inside the empty bottle. Independence will be the moment you realize the only hands reaching out to you belong to clocks. Irony, you will come to understand, will be when you ask your father about those expatriates: who are they & what are they doing here,so far from home, & why would anyone ever leave the place where they were born? Fortune will be every time your father hits All-Fruits on the slot. Innocence will come right after Fortune—every time you say, Let’s quit while we’re ahead,not knowing how far behind you really are.